If it’s a secret, resist the urge to spill it
CUTHBERT FELL IN LOVE WITH RAMONA while filming a wedding. The gig paid $2500, but he no longer cared because of the fringe benefits. He captured Ramona from every angle, if only for raw footage he could download from the cloud and admire her zoomed-in goddess-like face, her slim supple breasts, and firm, athletic calves at his leisure.
Unfortunately for Cuthbert, the wedding he was hired to film was Ramona’s, and the groom, his best friend Josiah. Josiah, who made three appearances in the finished video (other than the shots where he stood next to his sublime bride), Ramona, the woman who drifted above the floor when she moved, her hair fluttering in the air from the air conditioning vents. Even the way she held her drink took his breath away—thumb and forefinger gripping the glass, middle and ring fingers slightly to the side, and pinky extended before she took a sip, closed her eyes and relished the taste of the alcohol on her tongue.
Once they left for the honeymoon, Cuthbert drove home, dropped his equipment in the living room, climbed the stairs to his bedroom and buried his head under his pillow where he stayed until late that night, rose to polish off a bottle of Tito’s handmade vodka, then returned to bury his head under the pillow for another three days.
Ramona drifted above the floor when she moved, her hair fluttering in the air from the air conditioning vents. Even the way she held her drink took Cuthbert’s breath away.
When the couple returned from their honeymoon, Jason called to invite him over for a barbecue, but Cuthbert said he was filming a wedding in Arizona that week. When next invited, he said he was filming a music video in New Mexico, and the third time a family reunion in Oklahoma. He even drove to El Paso to mail the DVDs of the wedding, pretending he was too busy to return to Austin.
Eventually, the invitations petered out and Cuthbert contented himself with large-scale prints of Ramona on his bedroom wall so he could fall to sleep with her face on his mind. Her face or her left nipple, which he caught at the reception when she leaned over to cut the wedding cake.
On Christmas Eve, after months of mooning over what might have been, Cuthbert resolved to resolve the situation. He bought a half-dozen sheets of poster board and wrote his declaration of love across them like the old Burma Shave billboards that once lined the highway.
On Christmas Eve, after months of mooning over what might have been, Cuthbert resolved to resolve the situation. He bought a half-dozen sheets of poster board and wrote his declaration of love across them
Cuthbert waited until Jason climbed into his BMW and vanished around the corner. He rang the doorbell, and Ramona answered the door. He slowly revealed the messages on the posters.
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