Whatever you find in heaven will come as a surprise. Assuming you even make it.
PASTOR OPIE TOOS, of the First Separatist Church of Jesus in Bunghole, Texas, warned his congregants every Sunday to separate themselves from others because only the pure would enter the kingdom of heaven. And he could quote chapter and verse to prove it:
“Second Corinthians 6:17. ‘Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you,’” he’d exhort them. “That includes heathen negroes, Pagan Catholics, Godless Jews, homosexuals, Mexican Pagan Catholics, so-called trans queer people, liberals, atheists, unbelievers, people who watch football on Sunday, adulterers, strippers, men who ogle strippers, smokers, drinkers, theater goers, parents who send their children to atheistic public schools, liberals, Democrats, people sympathetic to liberals and Democrats, so called RPG players and cosplayers, furries, and those who consort with heathen negroes, Pagan Catholics, Godless Jews, homosexuals, Mexican Pagan Catholics, so-called trans queer people, liberals, atheists, unbelievers, people who watch football on Sunday, adulterers, strippers, men who ogle strippers, smokers, drinkers, theater goers, parents who send their children to atheistic public schools, liberals, Democrats, people sympathetic to liberals and Democrats, so called RPG players and cosplayers, and furries.”
“Second Corinthians 6:17. ‘Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you,’” Pastor Opie would exhort his flock.
“1 Timothy 5:22. ‘Do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure. Nor should you accept them into the church.’” Which was more of a paraphrase, but it worked fine for Toos and his congregation who didn’t (publicly) drink, smoke, dance, swear, flirt, fornicate, watch movies, gamble, or follow football on Sundays, at least not until Sunday Night football after they finished evening church.
“Joshua 11. ‘For it was the LORD himself who hardened their hearts to wage war against Israel, so that he might destroy them totally, exterminating them without.’ That’s right, God ordered the Israelites to kill the foreigners in the lands they invaded so they wouldn’t corrupt his children with their wicked ways, such as adultery, homosexuality, fornication, murder, sacrifice, sin, consorting with prostitutes to worship their ancient gods, even sports on holy days.”
And so the congregants left church every Sunday, refusing to associate with families, neighbors, or fellow employees. They even shopped at Christian online websites so they wouldn’t have to associate with heathen negroes, Pagan Catholics, Godless Jews, homosexuals, Mexican Pagan Catholics, so-called trans queer people, liberals, atheists, unbelievers, people who watch football on Sunday, adulterers, strippers, men who ogle strippers, smokers, drinkers, theater goers, parents who send their children to atheistic public schools, liberals, Democrats, people sympathetic to liberals and Democrats, so called RPG players and cosplayers, and furries. Which is why, while church members considered themselves members of the First Separatist Church of Jesus, everyone else in town called them The First Church of Separatist Assholes.
The congregants left church every Sunday, refusing to associate with families, neighbors, or fellow employees. Which is why, while church members considered themselves members of the First Separatist Church of Jesus, everyone else in town called them The First Church of Separatist Assholes.
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